Hi beautiful! I’m so glad you’re here today! Welcome back to Boldly Courageous, a podcast created for you — the ambitious woman who is ready to take action and step fully into the life you’ve always dreamed of.
Let’s talk about our dream selves for a minute. Who is your dream self? What is she like? What kind of career does she have? How much money does she make? What relationships are important to her? Where does she live? What does her body look like?
It’s important to ask yourself these questions so that you have goals to strive for, right? But often we want to see visual proof that our goals are possible. That’s why we create vision boards. But here’s the problem: we get stuck. We see our goals, but we don’t see how to achieve them, or they aren’t coming fast enough, or we run up against obstacles. We have all sorts of limiting beliefs that pop up and keep us from actually becoming our dream versions of ourselves.
But it’s possible. We know it’s possible to reach our goals and become the women we want to be. It takes boldness, but it can be done. That’s why today, I want to share an essential mindset shift and some practical tools to help you on your journey. Spoiler: It’s all about anchoring into that future version of yourself, even though you’re not there yet. It’s about making your decisions based on who you want to be, rather than on who you’ve been.
So if you’re ready to stop getting stuck and begin to live the boldly courageous life of your dreams, read on!
Don’t Get Stuck On Your Past Self
Here’s the thing: There are actually three versions of who you are. The first version is your present self, exactly who you are right now. She’s the version of you who takes action, shows up to work every day, is in a relationship, or is building a business.
Every day, the present version of yourself makes decisions. How do I engage with clients? How do I make more money? How do I have a difficult conversation? There are a million choices you face every day, and those choices are either going to move you toward your goals or not.
But you don’t make those choices at random; they’re based on the second version of you, your past self. This is the version of yourself that you may have outgrown a bit, but it’s also the version who has experience. Your past self already has a specific set of skills and beliefs. She’s been through experiences and learned from them.
So when you make decisions, your present self pulls on the experience of your past self to make choices. That’s pretty common. We make decisions based on what we know because it’s what naturally makes the most sense to us, right?
But that’s where a lot of people get stuck. Here’s the problem: when you make the same decisions, you can’t expect different results. Isn’t that the definition of insanity — doing the same things repeatedly and hoping for a different outcome? When we continue to make the same choices about our careers, relationships, health, fitness, and anything else that we’ve worked on in the past, we stop growing.
Have you experienced this? Maybe you’ve been on a weight loss journey. Maybe you started out eating healthier foods and going for a run three times a week. And that worked well for a while! Maybe you lost a few pounds, maybe you dropped a dress size or two, and that’s fantastic! But you still haven’t reached your goal, and now you’re not making progress anymore.
So you look back into your past to figure out what worked before — what helped you make that initial progress toward your goal — and realize that the healthy choices you were making about food and exercise suddenly aren’t enough to help you keep making progress.
What do you do now? You can’t continue to make decisions based on your past self, because your past self doesn’t have experience continuing to make progress and lose weight when she’s reached a plateau. So what do you do?
You have to get anchored in your future self.
Who Is Your Future Self?
Let’s return to that idea of your dream self. Who is she, that person who you aren’t yet, but you desire to be? That person is the third version of yourself — your future self. This is the version of yourself you need to keep in mind when you’re making decisions.
When you make decisions based on your past self, you create the same outcome you’ve always gotten. But if you want different outcomes, you have to start taking different actions. And if you take actions with your future self in mind, you begin to create that person.
Think about your future self. Who is she? What does she do every day? How does she live her life? It is such a good idea to ask yourself these questions so you can get a very clear picture of who you desire to be. When you have a clear vision for yourself, the possibility and reality of that version of you begin to take shape, and you can make decisions based on it.
One of the best ways to create that version of you is journaling. Guys, I am a big proponent of journaling, and I just want to give you permission to journal — however, whenever, and however much you need to. There is no right or wrong way to do — the important thing is that you’re getting your juices flowing and creating that clear picture of your future self.
Meditation is also a great way to develop your vision of your future self. And again, there is no right or wrong way to do it. No one is going to read your journal; no one is going to judge your meditation practices. These are just tools that will help you tap into another layer of your subconscious that you otherwise couldn’t tap into.
Let me tell you a bit about my future self to give you an example. First off, my future self makes $300,000 a month. I know that sounds like a lot, but when I meditate and take some deep breaths and visualize my future self and what her life is like, that’s the amount that feels right to me.
I also imagine her waking up to the sound of waves on the shore because she lives by the beach. Every morning she wakes up and walks through her sunlit house to the kitchen, where she eats healthy and delicious food that has been prepared by a chef. She has a lot of high energy fruits and vegetables because she values her energy and intentionally nourishes her body. She walks out onto her deck, and she’s got a journal and her healthy breakfast, and she meditates and listens to the sounds of the ocean. She hasn’t even looked at her cell phone yet!
Then she puts on her gym clothes and works out and sweats and feels strong and confident in her body. After that, she gets creative. She loves serving her community, she’s writing a book, and she’s getting ready to go on a trip to speak about an abundance for 3000 people at an event. She’s super aligned, and she’s a total boss.
Think about your future self. Take a few minutes to breathe, meditate, and imagine her as clearly as possible. And be bold! Nothing is off-limits here. Your future self is exactly who you want her to be.
Make Your Decisions Based On the Future, Not the Past
Once you have a clear idea of who your future self is, you can start making decisions based on that. By making choices based on your future self instead of your past self, you don’t get stuck in a loop where you’re making the same choices and getting the same results over and over again. When you make decisions based on who you’re going to be instead of who you’ve been, you actually manifest your future self into reality.
Let’s return to that weight loss example for a moment. Say you want to lose weight, but you’ve stopped making progress. You could make decisions based on your past self. Well, your past self ran three times a week, so you could continue doing that. But that ultimately led to a plateau, and you’re not that future self you desire to be yet!
So what if you started making choices about your diet and exercise based on your future self? If you lean into the energy of your future self, you might discover that she’s a vegetarian. Okay, now you can start making steps toward becoming a vegetarian! You might learn some yummy vegetarian recipes and start shopping at your local farmer’s market to get the best produce. By leaning into your future self, you begin to manifest the healthier woman you want to be!
I recently made a decision based on my future self that was pretty scary, but I’m so glad I did it! I recently hired a team that creates blog posts from my podcast episodes and also does SEO (search engine optimization) work. They help me create more content for my website and include keywords that help my site show up in Google searches, so I get more traffic and grow my business.
I had a lot of fear about the decision to hire this team. It felt like a really big-girl decision! I had never invested that kind of money into my business before, and it felt like a big step to take. I kept having thoughts like, “I don’t know, Melissa, what if it doesn’t work out? What if you waste your money and don’t get a return on this investment?”
But then I chose to lean into my future self. I felt her energy, and I could see her sitting in a boardroom, making executive decisions, and looking at the return on this investment with pride and excitement about the bigger audience and bigger platform it brought.
I chose to make a decision for my future self, and I took a big step toward becoming her. Now ask yourself, “What decisions do I need to make based on my future self?” Take some time to journal or meditate, and then commit to being bold! When you make courageous decisions based on who you’re going to be rather than on who you’ve been, you start living the boldly courageous life of your dreams!
You Can Start Making Decisions Based On Your Dream Life
My point is this: You might not be living the dream life. You might not be in the dream job, or you might not have the dream bank account yet, but that does not mean that you cannot start taking action and making decisions as if you already do.
It’s about laying a foundation and being open to receiving the things you want. Is there a new relationship you want to call into your life? Ask yourself, “Am I the woman I need to be in order for a man to come into my life?” Do you want to quit your job to start a new business? As yourself, “Have I laid the foundation to be able to do this?”
When you discover who your future self is, anchor into her! Then, make your choices based on who she is. Be bold, and take the steps you need to take to become that woman you dream of being. When you anchor into the future version of yourself, you accelerate your growth, and abundance and success come very quickly.
Thank you, babes, so much for joining me on this episode! I’ll catch you later.