How’s it going, babe?! I’m so grateful you’re here, and I hope you’re having a wonderful week. Welcome back to Boldly Courageous, a podcast created for you — the ambitious woman who is ready to take action and step fully into the life you’ve always dreamed of.
Today’s topic is so relevant to so many women out there, I can’t even deal: Is it possible to have it all? That’s the big question. Can you be the ultimate boss-babe, living the life you want and be a great mom? To chat about this topic, I’ve brought in my dear friend, Loraine Martinez Bellamy. Not only is she an incredible attorney, but she’s also a successful coach, real estate agent, and you guessed it, a new mom.
She is the most beautiful, kind-hearted soul—an enormous source of inspiration for me. I can’t wait to unpack how she’s handled the last four months, proving to all of us that you can have it all by living a boldly courageous life. Let’s get into the episode!
Who Is Loraine Martinez Bellamy?
Where do I even start with this amazing woman? Loraine Martinez Bellamy is the perfect combination of mellow and bold. She gets shit done like nobody I know, but she’s also down to earth and chill. It’s kind of crazy. She just makes it look so damn easy!
By day, Loraine is a badass lawyer turned life and business coach. Her aim is to help ambitious 20 -30 somethings get crystal clear on their dream or business ideas. She enables you to create a master plan to live the abundant life you’ve always dreamed of. Sometimes in life, you just need that friend who will say, “Cut the shit, and do the thing.” That’s Loraine!
If you’re struggling with a lack of clarity, passion, or purpose or just knowing you’re meant for something bigger. If anxiety and depression hold you back or you can’t help questioning spirituality, Loraine is your go-to guru. She will help you pivot, starting your entrepreneurial career on the right foot.
Oh, and if you’re into credentials, she’s got them all.
Loraine has a B.S. in Management and International Business from the University of Connecticut (UConn), and a J.D. from the University of Maryland School of Law.
She believes that we each have a unique gift or message to share with the world, and we are 100% responsible for our lives and happiness. It’s time to get out of your own way, serve the world with your talents, and make that money!
The Parallels Between Having a Baby and Running a Business
I asked Loraine if she’d done anything recently that was boldly courageous, and I am in love with her answer. She had a baby! As women, we don’t give each other enough credit for doing this. We don’t take the time to comprehend what it takes to not only create life but deal with it afterward. There’s nothing more fragile than a newborn.
“If you can have two kids under two, you can build whatever fucking business you want to build because the confidence and the self-trust that is needed to grow, deliver and raise a child in those early months is ridiculous.”Loraine Martinez Bellamy
You can borrow the discipline and consistency from mothering and put it into a business context. Yeah, you’re going to be doing some crazy hard work! But, if you treat your business like an actual baby, just think about how much more successful you could be. Why shouldn’t it make you feel unstoppable instead of overwhelmed?
Why Is Self-Trust Essential to Motherhood and Entrepreneurship?
I want you to take a moment to think about how resilient and resourceful you can be when you just trust yourself. You let go and allow yourself to own your decisions. Whether it’s motherhood or entrepreneurship, you have to have a basis of self-trust.
“You can’t be polling the audience every single day and asking your friends their opinion. Everybody will have an opinion, both on your business and the way you’re raising your kid. You have to ground your own resilience, your own self-trust, and know that you have the ability to make the right decision.”Loraine Martinez Bellamy
People will always be ready to share their thoughts, ideas, and recommendations on your life and business. You have to trust your own choices because you’re never going to please them all.
“I realize how grounded I am in myself and who I am and my ability to get things done. No matter what’s moving around and what’s shifting in my life, I get to choose how I want to feel. I get to choose the energy I bring to the situation, and I can trust myself to make the right decisions.”Loraine Martinez Bellamy
I’m so passionate about this way of thinking and living —about realizing what we’re actually capable of. If you’re reading this and you feel like you’re always second-guessing yourself. Stop, just stop. Take a breath and understand that you have the power to live the life you want. Don’t limit your beliefs, own them, and you could grow exponentially.
If You’re Curious About Something, Go Ahead and Try It
Loraine’s decision to start a family was up to her. Her husband had a child from a previous relationship and was open to more kids but didn’t add any pressure. Being in the driver’s seat was interesting for Loraine, and she decided the best way to make a call was to talk to other women. This is where she got some of the best advice.
“If you’re curious at all, whether it’s something that you want to be part of this life, then you have to just do it. Yes, there’ll be sleepless nights, a lot of sacrifices, and a change in lifestyle. But you can create whatever lifestyle you want. You can make your child a traveling child if that’s important to you. You can bring in support, you can shift things around. In one way or another, you’re going to find satisfaction from it. If you are curious and you never do it, there may really be some regret later on.”Loraine Martinez Bellamy
This doesn’t only apply to raising children. It’s a way to approach your goals, your dreams, your business ideas. It seems too simple to say, “If you’re curious, do it.” But why shouldn’t it be that simple? It’s the most practical advice out there. So much of life is about finding your craving, feeling into it, and figuring out where your energy is.
The Importance of Seeking Counsel from People Outside Your Inner Circle
When it comes to building your business or making big decisions in your personal life, you have to seek counsel outside your immediate circle. Your close friends and family are always going to be your cheerleaders — the people you can count on to back any idea no matter how wild it may be. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great to have those people, and we need them to make it through the difficult times. But we also need fresh eyes from an outsider.
If you’re embarking on a new business, find a mentor. Find someone outside your day-to-day interactions, who isn’t biased by your backstory or relationship with you. It’s these external interactions that’ll help you move beyond daydreaming. They’ll align with your mission, help you grow, and pivot. It’s about pushing yourself to the next level.
Why Is It Okay Not to Settle on One Thing in Life?
This is a serious one for me. On paper, by 30, Loraine had ticked off everything you’re “meant” to do. She was an accomplished lawyer, she had the husband and the house, but she was bored.
“I started feeling ungrateful for what I have, thinking who am I to want more? Like, from the outside looking in, I have everything. People are praying for what I’ve already got. And here I am thinking I need more.”Loraine Martinez Bellamy
Why should you feel guilty for wanting more? It’s nothing to do with being ungrateful for what you’ve already achieved. It’s about identifying the fact that you’re the type of person who can’t settle on one thing. We have this crazy conditioning that we grow up with. Like we need to achieve a set list of things to be “successful,” but once we get there, why can’t you want more?
“I’m going to keep going for what I want. I want more, I want it all. I want to have all the things. And for me, it’s not material. I want the sense of purpose and satisfaction of doing something in the world.”Loraine Martinez Bellamy
I love that. I want you to have that too! This whole process relies on you learning about yourself. You don’t have to turn your whole life upside down to have it all. Start by getting quiet for ten to 15 minutes a day. Give yourself time to listen to your soul, work through your thoughts and ideas and feel what’s right in your heart. Make the time to connect inwards and upwards, downloading the messages inside you. You’d be surprised how many answers are within you, you just have to make time to listen.
How Can Journal Prompts Make Journaling More Productive?
Journaling is a great way to start listening to yourself and trusting yourself. Like Loraine, I used to only journal when I was upset or lost. When you read back on that, it’s almost as if nothing good ever happened. It’s not a true reflection of your feelings or of your being.
“You definitely want to journal when you feel good. I want you to journal when you’re on top of the world because what we’re going to do is reverse engineer how you got there. What was going on in your life that made you feel like that? What were you doing? What were your habits?”Loraine Martinez Bellamy
You have to document the highs and lows. How will you find your answers if you’re only working through your negative emotions? Loraine has actually created a 21-day journal course. It’s called the Love Your Life Audit, touching on your life’s significant parts through your journal. Whether it’s health, fitness, finances, relationships, career, or passion projects, journaling is a game-changer.
“There are two ways to approach journaling. You could just open your journal and mind dump. For so many of my clients, this is what’s actually keeping them from journaling. They feel silly writing about their feelings. Or, you find a journal prompt that you love and just use that all the time.”Loraine Martinez Bellamy
A journal prompt is a question you ask yourself, prompting a response. It can be as simple as “What am I desiring?”. This gives you a place to start. If writing big paragraphs is intimidating, create a bulleted list. There is no wrong answer here. All you’re trying to do is organize and acknowledge your thoughts.
“Stop buying 17 journals. Writing about work in one, love life in another, business in another. I am Mrs. Journaler, and I only have one that I carry with me all the time. It has everything in it. My coaching sessions, grocery lists, and my own thoughts. All of my courses and programs started in a journal.”Loraine Martinez Bellamy
If you know your business has to grow, you know you need to scale if you want to support the vision you have for your boldly courageous life, then you have to get out of your own way. You have to push past your comfort zone, lean into your gifts, and trust your confidence. Be unapologetic with what you want. And it starts with writing it down.
Be Boldly Courageous with Loraine Martinez Bellamy
Loraine is genuinely one of my best friends. I have so much respect for this woman, and she’s a real source of inspiration in so many ways. Loraine is the ultimate example of someone who has it all — someone who has learned to own her magic. Best of all, she’s available to help you find yours!
If you want to kickstart your journey to having it all, why not sign up for her Love Your Life Audit today!? Get into her vortex on Instagram or Facebook Group and check out her website. I am telling you, her job is literally to help you live the life you’ve always wanted. Go get it, why can’t you have all the things?!
Babe, if you loved this episode as much as I did, please don’t hesitate to share it on social media, don’t forget to tag Loraine (@loly_love) and me (@themelissamartin). Let me know your biggest takeaway and what you’re going to do to be boldly courageous.
Until next time babe, go out there and make it all happen. You absolutely can have it all, and it starts today!